Arthur Christmas

KEY: I am using (!) to indicate surprise, shock or being mentally baffled ; a WTF moment.

When a Christmas gift – a bike – accidentally goes undelivered to a little girl, Santa’s son Arthur takes the initiative to solve the problem. Arthur Christmas is a joint venture between Sony Pictures Animation and Aardman Animations, the British studio known for Wallace and Gromit. Cold, charmless Christmas movie radiates scarcely any tradition or warmth. I didn’t realize the classic tale of Santa Claus needed to be re-written for contemporary audiences but that’s what we’re presented with here. It’s about as captivating as a lump of coal.

The story’s decidedly modern, revisionist history of Santa Claus is kind of icky. Santa travels around in a gleaming red space ship to drop off presents in high tech fashion. However, Santa wants to step down from his position (!) Apparently he is just the latest in a long line of Santas that pass from one generation to the next when the guy is ready to retire. Grand Santa, a cranky 136-year-old (!) is still around in fact. Santa has an older son – Steve, who looks like a bodybuilder and manages everything at mission control back at the North Pole. Steve thinks he’s the logical choice to replace father. Santa’s younger son – Arthur is a klutz that oversees the letter department. The elves joke what a loser he is (!) After failing to deliver one package, Steve maintains that Santa shouldn’t worry about the happiness of one child out of a billion (!) Although more taskmaster than evil, Steve is the closest thing to an antagonist in the film. Santa ultimately decides nothing can be done (!) so his son Arthur plans to rectify the situation.

Arthur Christmas is an overly simplified tale aimed exclusively at very young children. When you get right down to it, the entire plot concerns the delivery of one package. That’s hardly a story to excite the senses. There’s plenty of colorful, eye popping visuals, however. It’s slick and frantically paced but very little of it engenders any sort of tenderness. All of the hyperactivity actually gave me a headache. Additionally the high caliber British cast (James McAvoy, Hugh Laurie, Jim Broadbent, Bill Nighy, Imelda Staunton) have been instructed to shout all of their lines as if that would makes their voice performances funnier. That doesn’t work in bad sitcoms and it doesn’t work here. It’s not all wretched. There’s a sexually ambiguous little elf named Bryony who is a peculiar gift-wrapping obsessive. She/He/It is kind of amusing. But as for the rest of it, I found this frantic exercise extremely lacking in Christmas spirit.

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

It feels like several lifetimes since we last saw the once amiable stoner duo escape from Guantanamo Bay. Things are not the same these days. Set 6 years following the events of the last film, Harold and Kumar have drifted apart and are now estranged. Harold is married and adjusting to his new wife’s family. He’s replaced his best friend with Todd. Kumar also has a new buddy named Adrian. Harold and Kumar are just not as tight as they used to be.

If that overwrought setup feels like it’s missing the joy of what made the original so winning, you’d be right. The story takes off after Kumar accidentally burns down Harold’s father-in-law’s treasured Christmas tree. The two are compelled to scour New York City for the perfect one to replace it. A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is an unfunny movie and surprisingly joyless for a story set during the holidays. For much of the picture the two once close friends don’t even like each other. They’re much different characters now. Harold has grown up and acts like a respectable adult and Kumar solely lives to just smoke weed. Both trajectories are disheartening for contrary reasons. Harold is a buzzkill and Kumar just seems mentally underdeveloped. Watching actor Kal Penn in his mid-30s still driven by an all consuming desire to just smoke pot and nothing more, is not convincing. Almost like he left his position as Associate Director of Public Engagement at the White House to make a comedy about marijuana.

To be fair, this is a marked improvement over the execrable Escape from Guantanamo Bay which seems like a dated relic today. But A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas tries too hard to wallow in poor taste. The disrespectful humor is reminiscent of Bad Santa but nowhere near as trenchant. It’s soft not subversive, over-relying on moronic frat boy antics than scathing comedy. I will say the production does make good use of the 3D effects. There’s lots of scenes of flying glass shards and smoke that seemingly drifts out into the theater. There’s also a hilarious line when Harold, upon meeting his wife’s mother for the first time, mistakes her for someone else. I think there’s one more knee-slapper somewhere in there but I can‘t remember it anymore. I’ll give the stoner comedy 2 stars, one for each laugh. Hey they were pretty good laughs.

Disney’s A Christmas Carol

Gorgeous adaptation of the Charles Dickens classic is a 3D feast for the eyes. This slavishly faithful interpretation, is highlighted by effects so extraordinary, there are moments where it literally looks as if snow is falling in the theater. As recounted here, the story really takes its time and exhibits a dark moodiness, especially in the early scenes. In other parts, there are nightmarish images that are rather jolting for a PG rated film. Consequently, the film will please adults much more than it will entertain young children. However, for those that are patient, this atmospheric version of the classic tale is an enjoyable holiday treat.